You often hear the term “amicable” in reference to a breakup or a divorce. But this can often be complicated by disagreements over property ownership, finance and custody over children, plus any emotional issues that might have led to the initial breakup. From both a legal standpoint and in terms of wanting people to have a healthy relationship we are going to look at whether it is possible to have a truly amicable divorce.
Try mediation first
Divorce lawyers are often portrayed as being cold or unemotional. To a degree that is important in order to enable them to look over facts and deal with any practical issues involved in a level headed fashion.
However, most courts will encourage mediation before going through a formal divorce procedure. It is important to acknowledge how you feel and to deal with the emotional aspect before going into the formal procedure of divorcing. In some cases, this could lead to a reconciliation but equally it can help to ease the transition before legal proceedings as well.
Learn what your rights are
Knowing what your rights are in terms of custody, joint finances and so forth will make it easier to establish what you are entitled to and what you can realistically claim. This will then allow for a more reasonable middle ground as both sides can establish what they want.
It also helps to have evidence – if you have a receipt for something you have bought then there can’t be a dispute about it.
Allow people to take what’s theirs
Another option is to allow people to take items from the house that are theirs. With shared items or things that have been bought together you need to discuss the level of need, for example if you are moving into a smaller house do you necessarily need a larger bed?
Don’t play the blame game
With access to children it can be tempting to put pressure on children to persuade them to move in with you. Sometimes this can happen unconsciously so you need to be reasonable with your partner and decide what arrangement is appropriate.
If you are not able to come to an agreement then a mediator is another option, allowing someone from a neutral perspective to help arrange a childcare arrangement that will work best for them.
It is vitally important that children know that you care about them and their wellbeing. It’s not easy but be wary about how you talk about your partner around them and try to be as positive as possible.
Talk to a professional
Larcomes has been a family law firm for over 100 years now. We have always believed in being “big enough to specialise, small enough to care”. This means we have people you can talk to with the experience you need but equally they will be able to guide you through the process and help you through it. For more information talk to one of our team today to see how we can guide you through this and help you make your divorce as amicable as possible.